Ready as I'll ever be


Culture encompasses virtually everything that can be learned, it is ever-shifting. However, not necessarily everyone follows the same beliefs. Ready as I’ll ever be, is an attempt to represent the emotions and (interpreted) subconscious thoughts experienced by the individuals feeling gender dysphoria. Their values and norms differ and are distinct from those held by the majority, and most often than not that places them in a subculture that is void of complete social acceptance.

The research deals with the concerns and impact described by individuals, experiencing profound gender dysphoria. Often these descriptions are highly intangible and provide great challenges in bringing forward the complexities unless one is engaged in reciprocal exchanges. By positioning myself in the role of a creative tool, the aim was to bring forward the subliminal thoughts, through the medium of photography, video and audio explorations. The journey of this research has been more than intriguing, as my position changed from being an onlooker to a friend to an artist that gave voice to the participating individuals.

Stay a Little Stronger, a Little Longer

The emphasis of the research is the reciprocal exchange of thoughts, feelings and information between the artist and participants, and as a result, many deep feelings were shared. At the time of making this video, Yuma was going through gender dysphoria, and had not yet come out; this is an attempted to describe the feelings she had shared with the artist. The video uses metaphor and expresses an internal voice in the form of a dialogue that Yuma desired to share with the world.

Stay a Little Stronger, a Little Longer
2014
Single-Channel Video, 16:9
Colour, Sound
4:16 minute

Stay a Little Stronger, a Little Longer from Madhvee on Vimeo.

I Hope, I Seek

Video work “I Hope, I Seek” is an honest monologue of a Male to Female in transition. At the time of making the video, she was married with 2 children. Her family and friends were aware of her psychological state, and they were supportive of the struggles. However, they were uncertain of the ultimate acceptance in case of final transition. Till today, Hendrika is struggling with her inner voices, and the pressures to adhere to an image that is acceptable by society.

This video work consists of 2 videos that share one audio, and plays in sync on 2 separate screens.

I Hope I Seek 
2014
Single-Channel Video, 16:9 (2 separate videos)
Colour, Sound
4:36 minute 

I Hope I Seek from Madhvee on Vimeo.

Metamorphosis

The body of work Metamorphosis is an allegorical representation of a psychological and physical state of mind, experienced by people feeling gender dysphoria. Representation of communicated feelings and its reflection has played an important role in this body of work. Overwhelming state of mind and conflicting physical appearance leads to an unbearable condition. The gesture of peeling, tearing, layering and masking as well as the discarded layers of paper have been used as metaphors to express these emotions. The artist has utilised the ambiguity of the character and momentary yet deliberate eye contact to raise curiosity. The body of work intends to argue with the bias within and also questions the possibility of assimilation with society.

Metamorphosis
2014
Single-Channel Video, 16:9 Colour
4:00 minute

 

Metamorphosis from Madhvee on Vimeo.

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Memoirs of Bangkok Hendrika Yuma